~Our First Week As a Family of FIVE!~

*NOTE*

Sorry for another long post. This summarizes our entire week in Fuzhou and our first days as a family of FIVE with our precious Khloe!  God bless!!

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Sunday morning was bittersweet as we awoke for breakfast and then said our final goodbyes to the interns from ORU as we headed out the door to load our luggage into the van taking us to the airport. My stomach was in knots. This was a BIG day for our family. Both of Khloe's nannies were there to see her off and say goodbye. It was clearly a very emotional moment for both of them. One of her nannies, Sophie, would be traveling with Khloe and escorting her to her provincial capital where the transfer would take place later that day. I could feel my eyes filling with tears as we pulled out of the gates of NewDay and glanced back for one last look. It was a quiet trip to the airport. Khloe sat between me and her nanny in the van. They were on the same flight as us, so it didn't make sense to take more than one vehicle to the airport. The two of them sat just 2 rows behind us on the plane. I was glad that her nanny was there with her for that first flight. She did so well. I could hear her talking every now and then. And I think she napped through some of it. It was a relatively short 2.5 hour flight. Khloe kept an eye on me whenever I stood up or was in sight. I wondered what was going through her mind.

When we arrived in Fuzhou, we went our separate ways. Khloe and her nanny were being met bet by the orphanage staff. And after a quick trip to the restrooms and baggage claim, we met our first guide, Isabelle. She was great and did a wonderful job for us the entire week. We loaded our many bags into the van and were off to our hotel. It was a hot and muggy day. But the scenery around Fuzhou was beautiful. Tropical foliage and mountainous backdrops… absolutely breath-taking! We stayed at a beautiful 5-star hotel that overlooked the lake. We had wonderful views.

As soon as we arrived at the hotel, we were quickly checked into our rooms and then went over a few papers with our guide. Khloe was somewhere in the hotel with the orphanage staff, and we would soon be joining them to sign custody papers, as the actual adoption would not take place until the next morning. We got everything together and headed to the conference room where they were all waiting. It all happened so fast! I remember standing outside the room and hearing Khloe crying. They were trying to get her passport photo taken, and her nanny was in there calming her down. We waited in the hall while our guide went inside to ask that her nanny not be present during the transfer. I did NOT want to be the one taking Khloe from her nanny's arms. I knew she might resent me for awhile if I did. When Sophie stepped out of the room into the hall where we were waiting, I reached out to give her a hug and thanked her. I could not stop the tears as she hugged me back. I wanted to say so much more to her…if only I could speak her language. Both of Khloe's nannies will always hold a special place in my heart! We were then quickly ushered into the room where Khloe was crying for her nanny. It was SO hard. As soon as she seen us, she reached out towards Martin and cried "baba!" I don't think anyone else really heard it, as they had Martin go down to the end of the table to sign the papers and had me take her from the orphanage staff. She was NOT happy and really did not want me. She let me hold her with some convincing from our guide, but I was not the one she wanted. Her nanny told me she was telling her to go find her mama (her nanny!) and our guide kept telling her that I was her mama. It was truly heartbreaking. I was as prepared as one can be for this moment…but it was still SO HARD! When the custody papers were finally signed, we had to get a family photo taken of Martin and me with Khloe for her adoption papers. Needless to say, she would not stop crying…so a crying photo it was. Not too pretty, but it did the trick! ;) Finally we were off to our room with Khloe. There were still a few things we needed to go over in our room with our guide, and the hotel staff was still getting the crib and a few other things situated in our rooms, but it seemed like it took forever…though it was probably only 20 minutes or so. We just wanted everyone to go away so that we could be alone with Khloe. We knew all the chaos around us was not helping anything. We let Isabelle (our guide) know that we were okay and that we just wanted to be alone with her now. She helped us order our supper and some congee for Khloe (which she did not touch!) and then let us know that we had that night to decide if we wanted to go through with the adoption and should let her know our decision in the morning (AS IF!!!!) Seriously…did they really think we had come this far just to back out now?!? I guess there is a good reason for that period, in case the prospective family was not given full and/or honest information about the child they were about to adopt. But for us, we knew that 100% she was ours, and made that very, very clear to our guide. We had to re-confirm that the next morning, too!

The first night was a tough one. Khloe cried for the first 45 minutes or so in our room. Our guide was really concerned, but we assured her it would be okay once everyone left and we could be alone with her. It really didn't take too long to settle her down once we were alone. She was already familiar with us, thanks to our time at NewDay, so she eventually accepted the inevitable. She was pretty emotional on and off the rest of the evening. There was one point where she looked right into my eyes while she was crying and was telling me something about her mama. I know she was telling me to go and find her (meaning her nanny.) My heart just broke for her. I can only imagine how difficult this was. It wasn't too long and she wanted her baba (Martin) and was pretty much a daddy's girl from that moment on. Breanna and Dawson had adjoining rooms to ours. I think the emotions of the night were getting to them, so they eventually went to their room and called it a night. Khloe cried for them for awhile, but we knew it was good for her to be alone with just Martin and me. She needed to know that we were her caregivers now, and that we were there to love her and care for her. We skipped the bath that night, as it was just too emotional. Diaper changing and pajama time were hard enough. She let us do everything, but it was with a worn-out heart. She had such a sad and blank look on her face that my heart just broke over and over and over again for her loss. She was clearly so emotionally exhausted (as were we) and she eventually fell asleep in the security of her baba's arms. He then placed her in the portable crib, where she slept soundly through the night.

The next morning she awoke early…clearly scared and not happy with where she was. When I tried to comfort her, she cried for baba. As hard as it was that she didn't want me, I understood it...and was just happy that she DID want her baba. Martin did such a wonderful job of comforting her, and you could tell he didn't mind that she was a baba's girl. She's a little furnace though, so they were both sweating a lot! ;) As she woke up more and we got her ready, she was actually cracking quite a few smiles. By this time, the big kids had come into our room, too…and she enjoyed playing bubbles with her baba and gege (Dawson) while I got ready. Then we all headed off to breakfast. Baba (Martin) had to hold her the entire time, but that was okay. She did really well and sat on his lap to eat. Have I told you what a great eater she is!?! :o)

After breakfast, we met our guide up at our room and then headed out right away to sign the adoption papers. We had to confirm that we still wanted to adopt her…which we quickly reassured that we did! The officials decided to hold the signing in our hotel rather than the civil affairs office, as they thought it would be easier on Khloe. I SO appreciated their sensitivity towards her. They were great. The morning had been off to such a great start. Khloe was clearly secure in Martin's arms and would let me play with her as long as he was the one holding her. But shortly after we entered that conference room where the transfer had taken place in the late afternoon of the day before, she had a meltdown. It was right after the orphanage nanny entered the room. They had her leave right away. But I think at the quick glance Khloe got of her, she may have thought it was her nanny from NewDay, as they had similar length hair. I can't be certain though. But one thing we know for sure, is that Khloe is one VERY smart little girl, and we think the sight of all the same officials provoked thoughts of the night before. She was suddenly crying for her nanny again and seemed mad at Martin for not taking her to her. It was so sad. We got through the rest of the adoption paper signing and managed to eventually settle her down again. She was still whimpering, but not crying hard anymore. The orphanage director mentioned how smart she was when I said that I believe she was remembering what happened in that room just the night before and wanted her nanny. He assured me she would be okay and told me how beautiful she was. We then had a quick family photo with them out in the hall and were off to our room to gather a few things so that we could head out to Walmart with our guide…as an official family of FIVE! PTL!!!

Once in the van, Khloe wanted to go and sit in the back between Breanna and Dawson, so we let her. She did very well during all of our shopping. We purchased a few snacks for her, some more diapers and a stroller. Then we went to the neighboring McDonald's to grab a quick lunch for take-out to our hotel. Khloe took a short nap on the ride back to our hotel. When we got back, we said goodbye to our guide for the day and headed up to our room to eat our lunch… Khloe DEVOURED the French fries!! ;) She played well with Breanna and Dawson, and got whimpery whenever Breanna left her side. After awhile, it became clear that she preferred her siblings over Martin and me and didn't want us near her anymore. We know this is quite normal, but we also know how important it is to establish those boundaries as soon as possible. We put her down for her nap and then decided that when she woke up, Breanna and Dawson would stay in their adjoining room for the rest of the night, except for supper. Breanna hadn't been feeling well since Saturday afternoon at the Summer Palace, so she just wanted to rest anyhow. And Dawson was fine with watching TV and playing his DS games. They both understood the reasoning for this, and thought it was a good idea that we spend this time alone with Khloe, so we did.

The evening went really well for the most part, with the exception of a small breakdown after Dawson joined us in our room for supper and she wanted him instead of us. The same thing she did earlier with Breanna. It seemed as though she needed to hear 'no' from both of them just once, would have her breakdown, and then it was like she just 'got it' and moved on. She's so smart, so we wanted to establish our roles and boundaries right away. Dawson returned to his room with Breanna, and Khloe played well with both Martin and I the rest of the night, but she was clearly a baba's girl again. She did not want me to hold her… Though I did change her and help with her bath. She cried through the entire bath, so we made it quick. She enjoyed looking out our window that overlooked the lake and pointing out boats and cars below. At 7:30 every evening, there was a beautiful laser light/dancing waters show out on the lake, and she enjoyed watching that. There was also an amusement park on the far end of lake, and at night there was this large ferris wheel that would light up in a rainbow of ever-changing colors. It really was so beautiful to see and our overall accommodations were very comfortable. As bedtime neared, Khloe got more emotional again. You could see her eyes glaze over in a stare as she went through each moment of grieving. It was hard, but baba always seemed able to comfort her. I would continue to rub her back or hand, and speak softly to her, as well. She always watched me closely. Martin encouraged her interaction with me, though she usually turned it down. But she thought it was funny when he would tickle me or engage me in the fun. It was really cute. She was pretty tuckered out again that evening, and fell asleep for the second night in baba's arms. She woke once during the night, a bit scared and crying, so Martin knelt by her crib and patted her back until she fell asleep again.

When she awoke the next morning (now Tuesday) she wanted her baba right away. But she was blossoming into a different child already, and was filled with smiles and easy to engage in play. She wanted Martin to hold her and play peek-a-boo with me around the bathroom door while I got ready. She giggled and laughed with big smiles each and every time. When everyone was ready, we went down to the breakfast buffet, where Khloe again clung to baba and sat on his lap during breakfast. She was SO a baba's girl…but it really was adorable!! ;)

Breanna still wasn't feeling well. She had a cough and was battling a fever during the nights, so she just wanted to hang out in the hotel and rest in bed much of the day. We contacted our guide and told her we just wanted to stay in for the day and spend it alone with Khloe in our hotel. She was concerned that everything was okay, but we assured her it was, and that we just wanted this time to bond with our daughter and also let Breanna rest. She understood. It was a great day and we had MANY breakthroughs. We were so happy that we had decided to stay back. We let Breanna and Dawson both begin to interact with her again, but they did not feed, change or care for any of her needs outside of playing with her. They also did not hold her this day. It was good for establishing their roles as her brother and sister, and not her main caregivers. Khloe really seemed to get it, and all went well. We had many fun play times together. And though she was still a baba's girl, she was engaging with me much more. She also watched closely when I would play with Breanna and Dawson or show them any affection. They showered me in extra affection (way more than the 'norm'!) to help show Khloe that I was "a-okay!" ;) We ordered in Pizza Hut for lunch and ate in our room. We didn't leave the room much with her that day, and I think it was a wise decision.  Then later on Tuesday afternoon, something changed. Martin was sitting on the edge of the bed holding her, and they had been playing. I was playing with her too, but was across the room on a chair. All of a sudden, she reaches her arms out towards me and whimpers "mama" …we seriously to this day, have NO idea what suddenly clicked and changed, other than prayer and persistence! I had spent a great deal of time praying for her each night. That morning I prayed that God would begin to dissolve those walls that she had up and wouldn't let me in. I prayed for her heart and grieving, and asked God to fill the gap with His love and grace. Whatever it was, she was finally letting me in. Reaching out for me and WANTING me. I nearly turned to MUSH and felt my eyes well with tears! Khloe sat on my lap when we ordered room service for supper. She played throughout the night with all of us and imitated much of what I did. She even tried to imitate my laugh, which was SO funny and had us all cracking up!! Then when it came time for bed, she whimpered just a little bit as I prepared her bath. Since the night before did not go well at bath-time, I was a bit concerned. But this night she was different, and when I instructed her to sit down in the bath and gave her some toys, to my surprise, she took them and began to play with me. She quickly got a bit wild and was splashing water all over me…needless to say, I was soaked when all was said and done…but it was SO worth it!! When the bath was done she wouldn't let me leave her side or set her down anywhere without me. After I got her pj's on her, we brushed our teeth together. She again was copying my every move… it was hilarious! She had her second wind and was not ready to settle down yet, but Martin could barely keep his eyes open and the big kids were already in their room in bed, so we popped "Ni Hao Kailan" into the laptop and watched it together. She absolutely loved it and interacted with the entire episode…it was so cute! When it was done, I told her it was time for bed. She whimpered a little, but quickly snuggled up with me and fell asleep as I sang softly to her and rubbed her little hand in mine. Martin then moved her into her crib, and she slept peacefully through the night.

Praise God for breakthroughs. We had a completely different daughter than just a couple of days earlier, and she was (and still is!) doing SO well. Each day would continue to get better as the week went on. We enjoyed everything from bowling (yes, our hotel had a small Brunswick bowling alley in the basement level…which the kids VERY much enjoyed…and Khloe LOVED to watch and cheer them on!) to walks outside. It's hard to believe that the daughter we have now is the same girl that was placed in our arms on Sunday the 16th. She has blossomed into a happy and playful little girl, filled with LOTS of giggles and wild toddler fun. She also found those toddler 'testing' moments that the lovely twos are sure to bring…but it's all good! It just confirms that she is truly a 2 year old and all that age brings with it… we've been quick to set the boundaries, and Khloe is quick to learn them!! :-) Her smile lights up a room and her big beautiful eyes melt right through us. I can't tell you how many times we've been stopped by complete strangers who just want to look at her and tell us how beautiful she is… don't we know it!! ;) We're truly in love and can't imagine our life without our little princess. She's still mainly mama's girl in the mornings when she wakes up or needs consoling, but overall she goes really well between all of us. She knows clearly knows who mama and baba are, and also what roles Breanna and Dawson play. She's incredibly smart… Seriously! ….I'm not just partial, she really is!! ;) She's a happy and delightful little girl, and we feel so blessed to have her as our daughter. She's doing incredibly well and hasn't had a melt down or grieving moment in nearly 3 days now. We are now rounding out our time in Guangzhou and are still adjusting to some of the changes, but absolutely LOVE being a family of FIVE!!! God is good!!