Our First "Alone-Time"

* Note *
I apologize for being away so long.  We did have internet mid-week in Fuzhou, and I tried to send twice, but lost connection both times.  We have been so busy, so it's been hard to find time to do updates.  This update is an old one (obviously!) from our time at NewDay.  The was our 'Day 2' in Ch*na and our first time alone with Khloe, so it is very important to us that we not forget any of it, as this is also our journal.  We will summarize our week in Fuzhou soon, too.  But this one first.

In the meantime, know that we have come a LONG way since this post was written.  Things are going REALLY well and Khloe is such a precious gift...we love her SO much!  I will share more about the past week, soon...I'm working on it now!! :)  Until then, this is a long read, so it will give you a chance to refresh before the rest come.  I promise they will be summarized more.  Have a blessed week!
... and Happy 30th Birthday to my lil' Bro, Tory!...we love you and miss you bunches!!!

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I decided to use this time on the plane to Fuzhou to do some catching up on my blogging.  Let me first start by thanking each of you for your encouraging comments and words of support… you all had me in tears.  Your encouragement and prayers are so helpful and they truly are a blessing to us during this time.  Keep them coming!!

Friday was the most emotional day of our trip thus far.  One might assume it would've been Day 1, when we met Khloe, but not nearly as much as Day 2.  We woke up that morning both excited for our time alone with her, but equally as nervous, knowing how difficult it would likely be for her.  As prepared as you think you are, it is still so incredibly hard when you are in the midst of it and watching your daughter grieving and scared.  Never underestimate how smart these precious little ones are.  She knew from the first moment she spent with us that something new was happening and she did not like it.  This is hard for any child, no matter what age.  But we were told that Khloe is currently in the stage where she doesn't like ANY change right now... even in the company of those she is most familiar with.  So with that knowledge, we knew this was going to be a tough day for her, and for us.

We began our morning with breakfast at 7:30am and then off to prayer at 8am.  It was not only an emotional day for us, but it was a week of changes and emotions for the staff and interns at NewDay.  Three children had already left to meet their new families.  One intern had left the evening we arrived, and two more would leave before the week was up.  The staff was also preparing their going away party for Elva.  On top of everyone leaving, there were new children and interns arriving, so to say it was a week of changes at NewDay is an understatement!

At about 8:30am we were off to spend our first moments ALONE with Khloe.   Amy brought us over to the foster home and brought Khloe into the preschool room to play alone with us.   We set up some PlayDoh in hopes of getting her to play.  But as soon as Amy left, Khloe began to cry and wanted nothing to do with us or any toys.  We held her and listened to her cry for her nanny.  It was a sad and deep cry.  For the first hour, she barely made eye contact with any of us, except a few moments of pleading for us to take her to her nanny.   I held her for several minutes as she cried, and then asked her if she wanted baba (Martin).   She reached out towards him, but then pleaded to baba to take her to her nanny.  He was closer to the door.  He held her and tried to comfort her in any way he could, but she really just needed to let it all out.  She cried so long that her tears literally quit falling.  It was SO sad and so hard.  After about an hour of nothing working to calm her down, we took her outside to give that a try.  She LOVES being outside, but this was not what she wanted at this moment, either.  She looked for anyone to 'rescue' her…anyone but us.   Breanna and Dawson both finally did break down a little.  It was just so hard for them to see their little sister so sad and scared.  But we explained that she had to go through this, and that with time it would get easier.  Khloe was very curious as she saw me wipe away their tears with the same Kleenex I used to wipe her tears.

baaaaah" I would copy it, and she liked that.  Eventually she would almost 'instruct' me to "baaaaah" every time she heard the goat call.  It was really cute, and just the icebreaker we needed.  So if you happen to be somewhere in China and hear some Westerner walking around "baaaahing"…no worries, it's probably just me!! ;)

After we had her calmed down for about 20 minutes, we broke out the bubbles and she had fun with them.  Earlier Khloe wanted nothing to do with the bubbles, but this time she was engaging and smiling and giggling.  She especially liked it when I lifted her up higher to catch the ones that were floating away.  She even blew some herself.  We just had to be careful that she didn't inhale them, as she was still sighing on occasion from her long cry.  It was fun to have finally broken through a little though, and to see that precious smile of hers again.  Have I told you what a GORGEOUS smile she has, yet!?!

By this time the party had begun outside for Elva.  They had parachutes for the kids to play with, singing and games.  Just when we were going to join them, they got to the talking part, so we decided to hang out with the animals just a little longer, as we knew Khloe would cry for her nanny as soon as we got out there.  So as not to disturb the party, we played some more bubbles and made some more animal sounds and sang some preschool songs while we waited for a 'safe' time to join the group.  I later realized that Adam, the gardener was in the building next door, so I'm certain he enjoyed our free entertainment, as well.  LOL!!   Finally, they were done with the games and the kids were getting in line for the picnic, so we all joined the group.  Khloe quickly spotted her nanny, running to her and shouting "ma!"  (the kids call their nannies ma, or mama, too.)  As Khloe ran towards her, she decided to take a short cut across one of the parachutes still spread out on the ground, and wiped out.  I took the opportunity to run over and be the one to help her up.  She let me, but was off to her nanny as soon as she was back on her feet.  She eventually made it to her and was in line for some food!! ;)

The picnic was nice.  It was fun to visit with everyone, and watch the children at play.  Elva was given some gifts, and a special one from the foster home of Drew.  Drew is now home with his family in America, but he and Elva were close and he was clearly her favorite, so they had one blown up for her and framed so she will always remember her years of service at NewDay!   It was a time of many smiles mixed with some tears, as both Elva and the interns (Anneli and Kate) prepared for their good-byes.   We enjoyed the casual time, and I enjoyed more time to sit and visit with Carrie, as well.  Amidst the picnic and conversations, Khloe's nanny kept having her bring us snacks to encourage continued interactions with us.  It was precious, and she was clearly a little more at ease.  Well, much more compared to just an hour earlier!  ;)   Afterwards, the kids played outside for another hour or so.  While I was visiting with Carrie and some of the other staff…Martin, Breanna and Dawson eventually made their way over to the sandbox where Khloe was at, to play with the kids.  Breanna quickly had many of them engaged in play and it wasn't long before Khloe was right there with them.  The next thing Breanna knew, she felt someone plop down and sit right up next to her.  When she looked down, she was surprised to see it was Khloe.  Breanna completely choked up, but held her composure and just kept playing with her.  It was a very sweet moment.

We later went off to lunch and they had seated our table right next to the children's table, so that Khloe could be next to us and still be amongst the rest of the kids.  She was very leery of us still, and wanted her nanny to sit next to her.  Both of Khloe's nannies are wonderful.  They did such a good job of encouraging her interaction with us, and it is clear how deeply she is loved by them.   After lunch, there was a little more play time with the kids out in the courtyard area, and then they were off for their afternoon naps.

Later that afternoon, we went back to the foster home for our second 'alone' time with Khloe.   Since the day had already had so much activity with the party that morning, they skipped preschool and we spent our time alone in that room with her.  The tears were on again, but this time, they only lasted about 45-50 minutes.   There was a point during her crying that Dawson went over to lay down on the preschool mats across the room, and Khloe pointed at him crying "gege."  So I called him back over and she began to settle down.  She wanted us to stay all together, which I thought was pretty cute.  We were finally able to get her engaged in a little play.  We had brought in her sticker book that we purchased for her, and she had fun with that, but still remained pretty serious with only an occasional grin.  Then we tried a few bubbles, but she mostly wanted to just be held and play stickers.  It wasn't long and our time was up, as she needed to go for dinner.   She was pretty relieved to be led out of the room and back to more familiar faces.  We then went to the playroom and gave little Samuel his gift from Valerie, and got some adorable photos.  He is such a sweet spirited little guy, too…and so, so cute!!  All of the little boys wanted in on the action and liked the Thomas the Train set….and Ethan especially enjoyed trying to put together the wooden track pieces.

We rounded out our day with dinner in the cafeteria, enjoyed with some great interns to keep us company.  They then took us on a walk and showed us around the village.  It was an amazing and humbling experience and we are SO thankful to them for offering to take us around.  We enjoyed some fresh bread from "Breadman" as he is known by the interns…and it was SO good!  I'm not sure which we liked more, the sweet bread or the meat filled one…but they were both delicious.  Thanks for the treat Jess!!  We went to the village store to get a few goodies for Khloe and some candy treats to take home.  Afterwards, Jess walked us back to NewDay to turn it in for the night, as we had a long day of sight-seeing at Great Wall and Summer Palace beginning early the next morning.

I truly believed our hardest day was over.  Yet amidst the tears and heartache felt by all, but ESPECIALLY Khloe, we know how truly, truly blessed we are to have had this time with her on her turf.  We're certain it will make her transition to us for the adoption in her Providence capital, a bit easier than it otherwise would have been.  Thank you, NewDay, for this amazing opportunity.  We feel so very blessed!