Update and Prayer Request...

( Chinese Symbol for HOPE )

I've been debating on whether or not to post this prayer request on my blog. But then I thought about how much I enjoy praying for others and how very much I believe in the power of prayer in numbers.

The past couple of days have been more than stressful around here. As some of you know, we are through the application process with our agency, but are still waiting on our homestudy and the Adam Walsh FBI fingerprint results. Once those things are through, we can be officially "approved" by our agency. It is at that point, that our agency said they would be comfortable asking the CCAA for "her" file. So our goal all along has been for us to be through this process when "her" papers arrived at the CCAA. We learned in March that her home orphanage was preparing her papers to be sent off soon at that time. We also learned that even once they arrive at the CCAA, that they can often sit there for about 4 months before even being looked at. So though we were in an expedited process, we still thought we had a little more time.

However, on Monday night, I received an email from a very reliable source letting me know that "her" file was already on the shared list and had been locked in, but that the agency/family decided not to accept the referral and that she would be back on the shared within about an hour. We were advised to contact our agency ASAP and ask them to look for "her" file and lock it in for us. This email came to me late on Monday evening around 11 pm and I didn't check it until about 4:40 pm the next day(Tuesday)...over 15 hours later! Now if you know me well, you also know that I'm pretty good at checking my email on a regular basis, quite often before bed, again in the morning when I'm waiting for the kids to get on the bus, and maybe during my lunch break. But now that the kids are on summer vacation, my schedule is completely turned around and I didn't have a chance to check it during any of my usual times. So you can imagine my panic when I read this email, thinking that her file had now been on the shared list likely for about 14 hours and during the entire workday for all agencies to see and have a chance to lock her in again. Needless to say, my stomach was churning into big knots, my head was in a fog and my hands began to shake like a leaf. At first, I couldn't even seem to settle down enough to find the number I needed to call...but eventually I located it. I contacted my agency IMMEDIATELY after getting that email, knowing that most of the people I work with leave around 4:00 and it was now 4:45. And as I suspected, most of them were gone, but I was able to talk to someone whom my husband and I were introduced to during our PAC (Pre-Adoption) Classes just weeks earlier. She remembered us and our unique situation, and said she would do what she could and get back to us in the morning. She also seemed surprised at how quickly "her" file was processed and onto the shared list. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night at all.

We also thought we had a little more time to have our self-studies in, so they weren't complete. I stayed up working on mine until is was finished and it helped me to focus on something that I was in control of. By the next morning (now Wed.) we found out from the agency that they needed them from both Martin and I by around 1:30 or so that same day. They knew that mine were complete, but that Martin had a long way to go to have his done. He's so busy and he works SO hard for our family, that I hate to pressure him about these things. But time was of the essence here and I was in tears while informing him of this on the phone. The questions are essay style, and when complete, average about 6-10 pages...so usually a good 4-6 hours of concentrated writing! Martin was having the busiest day at work, so he wasn't able to do any in the early morning. But by 10:30 am, he managed to go into his office and close the door, putting a sign on it "knock if you need me" ...and with that he went to town working as hard as he could to get it done. The agency was aware that he was at work and might not have it completed to the fullest, but asked that he do as much as possible and then fax over what he had done. By 1:40 he had to stop and get back to work, so we turned in what he had and said a prayer that it would be enough. The main urgency was that the director who needed to review it before assigning us to our personal social worker, was going to be out of town the rest of the week, so if it wasn't in to her by that earlier afternoon, it would have to wait until Monday... and that was just too great of a risk. So we found out around 4:30 that day, that she had been in meetings all afternoon, but had "unofficially" assigned us to a social worker and would review our papers that evening. Finally around 7:45 this morning, I received a phone call from the agency that said she had looked them over and said everything was good and we were officially assigned to our social worker, who I expect to hear from tomorrow about getting our homestudy scheduled asap. PRAISE THE LORD!!

I also spoke to another lady at our agency yesterday afternoon, that I will be working with a lot during this process. She works specifically with the China program and was the first person I came to know at the agency. She let us know that they were unable to locate "her" file on the shared list, and that it didn't necessarily mean anything bad. She said that often when a file is locked in and a family decides not to accept the referral, that the CCAA may sit on it for a few days before re-releasing it onto the shared list. So she told me not to panic, because she believed that's probably where it was and she highly doubted that it had already been put back on the shared list and re-locked again. She also let us know that they already had their contacts in China on the case to confirm what "her" status was, and to see if they could request her file be sent directly to our agency this time. They have a very good reputation with the CCAA, so to go to bat for us like this when our approval isn't yet complete, is a risk for them. Everyone we've worked with has been beyond amazing! They know our love for this little girl, and the urgency of our current situation, so they are doing everything they can on our behalf to super-speed things along! Did I mention how grateful I am for this!?! :)

Today was a quieter day, but we did find out officially that the agency/family with "her" referral did decide not to adopt her, so that is a HUGE relief. In the meantime, our agency is waiting to hear back from the CCAA on her current status and if they will now grant her file to them directly instead of returning it to the shared list. They should have a definitive answer for me by next week...though I'm praying we'll know before the weekend!!

So all of that, just to update you on our seemingly crazy situation and to request that you be in prayer for us. My initial panic and fear I know are not from God, but certainly are human nature. As I prayed on Tuesday evening after getting the email and talking to someone at the agency, I felt an inner whisper say that this may be the Lord's way of unfolding His plan. And that without this contact we would not have even known she was on the shared list to begin with, likely until it was too late. About a half hour later, I received an email from a dear friend (thanks Tami !!) that said this exact same thing... so to me, that was an affirmation from the Lord!

As I wait for more news, I reflect again on His word...knowing very well that He does want to give us the desires of our heart...afterall, it is He who planted those desires in there to begin with!! And I was reminded again of the verse He gave me when I was seeking a word from the Lord awhile back:

"The One who calls you is faithful. He will make it happen."

~I.Thessalonians 5:24